Monopoly Madness

OREGON – Local man arrested after allegedly keeping his family trapped inside of his home for 10 years, torturing his captives by forcing them to play a game of Looping Monopoly.

This uncommon variant sees the banker being able to act as an antitrust commissioner and once a player reaches a strong monopolized position it can force them to split their empire among the other players.

Local police and family counselors were on the scene to help with the rehabilitation of the family to fresh air, outside stimuli and other people. John S Piles 36, the mastermind behind the antitrust variation and alleged “winner” of the game is reported to have kept his family locked up to play the endlessly popular pastime due to a statement 11 years ago from neighbors who had once boasted at a cook out that their Monopoly matches are always the longest and best.

When asked if he ever thought his family wanted to leave the house and maybe continue later, he simply replied “That’s Monopoly Life, they all knew what they were getting into. They just didn’t want to see me win

Bail has been set at $1m but Piles was heard shouting to cameras that he had a get out of jail free card and he will soon be back passing go.

 

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