LOCAL - CORPUS CHRISTI, TX We are hearing of a recent outbreak of printed paper attacks at local area hotels. Reports are coming in of violent rampaging sheets filled with half faded lettering, slicing potential hotel guests and passers-by. Why is this happening, we asked some local paper-stock and its due...
Monopoly Madness
OREGON - Local man arrested after allegedly keeping his family trapped inside of his home for 10 years, torturing his captives by forcing them to play a game of Looping Monopoly. This uncommon variant sees the banker being able to act as an antitrust commissioner and once a player reaches...
Writers Vs Artists In Ohio City
CINCINNATI OHIO - Reports of writer vigilante groups storming art galleries in Ohio are sweeping the nation. Angry wordsmiths who according to Gina, the owner of local coffee shop Cuppa Cov Cov Covfefe, said that the writers were "usually so mild-mannered and polite." The writers are allegedly sick of a...
Flat Earthers Reveal Unquestionable Proof of Flat Earth
FLORIDA - Recent traction with the Flat Earthers in main stream media as well as backing by some questionable celebrities have led to a surge in popularity. We reached out to their organisation for comments on a rumor that unquestionable proof had been discovered in Delaware. Our society contact wishing...
Local Cat Possessed By Green Lantern
Local woman found a cat possessed by Green Lantern from DC Comics. Having seemingly gotten bored with being only seen as a 2d character, Green Lantern stormed off his comic book with the words of 'just wait, ill be back and you will finally respect me' After several weeks possessing...
Aged Door Mad at Sibling
Wise aged door reportedly pissed at drunken sibling. Pleads for him to hold it together for another century, tells him everything will be ok.