Angry Paper Attacks

Chaos in Corpus Christi as local paper attacks.

picture of hotel check in with couple before paper attack
Receptionist and guests at hotel before brutal attack – Picture curtesy of Google.com/images

LOCAL – CORPUS CHRISTI, TX We are hearing of a recent outbreak of printed paper attacks at local area hotels.

Reports are coming in of violent rampaging sheets filled with half faded lettering, slicing potential hotel guests and passers-by. Why is this happening, we asked some local paper-stock and its due to a controversial issue. The paper is allegedly fighting for being inked unnecessarily in areas that could be left blank.

We tracked down Sara G, a hotel employee who had witnessed the alleged abuse and subsequent attack first hand, “It’s been building for a while, i don’t feel safe here. First the paper went on strike refusing to be printed, it kept getting stuck in the back of the machine all the time.”

Sara shifted clearly uncomfortable talking about the issue, “Its the section on the form at check in, you see. The part about your vehicle state and registration… Nearly everyone doesn’t remember their plate number so we just tell them to leave it, it doesn’t really matter,” Sara continued, clearly distraught.

“See if it don’t matter, then why put all that extra hurt on the paper? That’s their point, they are being unnecessarily inked.”

man stomping on paper airplane playing baseball
man stomping on airplane, not actual man in story as we were too engrossed in the fight to take a picture

After witnessing a rather epic fight with a paper airplane we got to speak to Doug 38. He insisted that The F******* commie paper wasn’t going to get him this time!”, he then stomped down on the renegade paper plane before throwing it in the hotel pool. Punctuated with a chant of sorts, he slipped and lost his footing nearly falling in the pool, but regained his composure and left for his room.

We will bring you more on this serious issue here in Corpus Christi as it develops.

Be sure to follow us on Twitter for the latest. @NewsTwat




Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*